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A Safe Place to Land

I attended my nephew’s high school graduation last week.  He’ll be 18 in a few weeks, and of course, he has life all figured out.  He has hopes, and he has dreams.  And he’s going after them.  He’ll officially be ‘an adult,’ and is ready to fly off from the nest to start making a life for himself.  I think back to those days when I felt the same.  ‘This is it…..I’m free to do what I want!  FREEDOM!’  I was off on my own, experiencing so many changes and firsts.  But the one thing that didn’t change was my safe place to land – home.  And not just when I needed to do laundry or wanted a free meal, but a place to go when I needed rest – physical and emotional rest.  A place to go when I needed encouragement and support.  A place to go where the people knew exactly what to say.  A place to go where the people always knew ME and my heart, even when I was figuring my own self out.  Home.  And it didn’t end when I turned 19, or 20.  Home has been my safe place to fall throughout my 20s, my 30s, and even now into my 40s.  And now, as I navigate Motherhood, the biggest thing I want my boys to walk away with then they turn 18 is that they will always have a safe place to land with us.  No matter how old they are.  No matter how successful.  No matter what.  Home = Safety.  Always and Forever.

I found myself thinking of Antonio throughout my nephew’s graduation ceremony.  Approaching his 18th birthday in a few short months.  Approaching ‘adulthood.’  Off on his own.  FREEDOM.  But the difference between him and 18 year old me, between him and my nephew, is he doesn’t have a safe place to land.  He’ll truly be on.his.own.  With nowhere to go.  For the little things like laundry and food.  But more so for the bigger things like encouragement and support.  For feeling valued and safe. 

Madison staff has met and spent time with Antonio and Arlo (Antonio’s 10 year old brother).  They describe both boys as sweet, caring, and kind.  They have heard directly from Antonio and Arlo about their strong desire for a family.  Their strong desire for a safe place.  And their strong desire to stay together.

Please help us find Antonio’s safe place to land before it is too late.  We need a miracle, as time is running out.  We need a home study ready family (or one who could update a home study FAST).  We need a family willing to RUN to Antonio and Arlo so that these brothers can stay together, and have a safe place to land forever.

If you are interested in learning more about Arlo and Antonio, please complete our Prospective Adoptive Parent form, or email Catherine@madisonadoption.org. Madison Adoption Associates is offering a $9,000 grant* to the qualified family who commits to these brothers.

*Deducted from MAA’s agency fee of $14,000 for siblings, making the total agency fee $5,000. Grant will be deducted from Dossier invoice.

Transracial Adoption: Resources for Learning About Race and Racism

It is vital for families adopting a child of a different race to learn about the history and current realities of their child’s race and ethnicity, so they can prepare their child for when they encounter racism. We encourage all families have adopted or are adopting transracially to read/watch/utilize the resources relevant to their child’s identity from the list below. For families currently in the adoption process, to receive credit towards your Continuing Education Hours, complete the Continuing Ed form from your training packet (if you cannot find this, contact your case worker and they will share with you!).

Luke’s Legacy {an MAA grant for older boys}

It is with a heavy heart that we share about the passing of an incredibly special boy – the world lost an angel on January 9, 2022 when Luke passed away. Luke holds a special place in the hearts of all of us at MAA. We advocated for Luke for years. On several occasions we came very close to finding him a family! But we never quite made it to securing his forever. Then COVID hit, and we were no longer able to advocate for any waiting children.

While we never met Luke, we knew through colleagues that he was a sweet, kindhearted, gentle soul who loved to love, and loved to be loved. Thanks to our amazing friends at Shepherd’s Field Children’s Village, Luke was able to experience the love of a family throughout his short life. Maybe it wasn’t a traditional family, but it was his family nonetheless. While we are so grateful that Luke lived somewhere where he was adored until the very end, the sadness is still very real knowing that Luke never got to experience his forever family. He would have blessed them beyond measure.

In honor of Luke, we are humbled to announce Luke’s Legacy – an MAA grant for older boys.* Older boys often wait the longest for a family, yet we know so many wonderful boys like Luke are waiting and hoping for someone to take a chance on them. This $1,500 grant (in addition to MAA’s $500 grant for children 8 and older) will be available to qualified families who submit a Letter of Intent, which is approved by the country, for a boy in any of our programs who is 12 or older.

Luke, we so wish we had found you your forever family, but we pray you can rest easy knowing that your spirit will live on in this grant, and allow families to bring home older boys for years to come, in your name.

If you are interested in learning more about adopting an older boy, please visit our website, or email Lindsey Gilbert at LindseyG@madisonadoption.org.

*The Luke’s Legacy grant is available to MAA families whose LOI is submitted (and later approved by the country) for a boy 12 or older on or after February 15, 2022. The grant is offered based on the age of the child at time of LOI submission. One grant per sibling group. MAA grants cannot take the agency fee total below $4,000 (single child) or $8,000 (sibling group). The Luke’s Legacy grant is not available to MAA families who are already matched, nor is it available if the child turns 12 after LOI approval but before adoption completion.

For Ivy Honoring a Hero {An MAA Grant for children with complex CHD}

We are honored to be able to share Ivy’s story with you.  We would especially like to thank Mary and Bryan S., Ivy’s parents, for not only opening their own hearts to a child with complex CHD, but also for their willingness to share their precious Ivy with us.  Thank you, Mary, for your beautiful words¦

Honoring our Hero,

For those of you who are new to our story, our precious Ivy Joy went home to Jesus on March 20, 2017. Ivy had a complex heart defect with many complications and many miracles to follow. She came home at 21 months, unrepaired and very sick, but more importantly, incredibly wanted and incredibly loved. She would undergo 5 open heart surgeries in 10 months, have set back after set back, and miracle after miracle. She just never stopped fighting and she never stopped smiling. Friends, when our girl could have said, ‘why me?’, she said, ‘How blessed am I?’  Honestly, she never ever complained or felt sorry for herself. She woke up every morning, choosing JOY in spite of her circumstances. She is such a special child and she knew it, boy did she know it!!!! I know our girl is alive in heaven, singing with the angels, dancing with all the other precious children whose mommies and daddies also had to say goodbye for now, all too soon.

When I left for China to bring our precious 5-year-old daughter Charlotte home, my biggest fear was that my plane might crash and Ivy would no longer have me to mix her medicines, remember all the right snacks to take with us for her ongoing cardiology appointments, or care for her the way I do. I prepared the girls Easter baskets before I left, telling our older daughter where they were in case anything happened to me. The last thing on my mind was the thought of me, having to learn live life without Ivy.

On March 20, 2017, just hours after meeting Charlotte in China, our baby girl, the light of our lives, took her last breath at home and took her very first breath in heaven. Our lives were turned upside down in one second and I am here to tell you, we continue choosing joy because she taught us how. So, we continue to strive each day to make her proud of us as we count the days till we see her and hold her again. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t like it, but she taught me well and Jesus made a way for us to be together again so I have so much to be thankful for. He never promised she’d make it past her first surgery, but she did. I vowed to Him the day she came out of her first open heart surgery on ECMO that if He took her home that night, I’d still praise Him, I’d still thank Him, for the blessing of being her mommy even for just a few months. Well, with miracle after miracle, Ivy did come home. And we snuggled and giggled and grew and laughed and loved and learned so much from her for 5 precious years. Oh how I miss every single thing about her. It is new grief every single day and new mercies get us through every single morning.

I traveled to China on March 18th for a March 20th gotcha day. I was so very blessed to have had a friend traveling with me on this trip. And I will never forget just laying on my bed, screaming out in pain and agony and complete brokenness. She came to me, so completely broken and scared and worried and she said, ‘honey, what do you want to do? whatever you want, however you want to go about it, no one will judge you, everyone will understand that there is no wrong or right here.’

And without even having to think, with the power of the Holy Spirit and the gift of all the modeling by example Ivy Joy had done for me over the 5 years I was blessed to have her on earth, I answered.

I said, ‘Kim, Charlotte waited 5 years to have a family, she did nothing wrong, and there is no way that Ivy would have any part of me leaving her in China. I am Charlotte’s mom as much as I am Ivy’s. And what I want is to get home to my family as fast as anyone could ever fathom, with Charlotte holding my hand. I want God to move mountains for me to get home tomorrow, so I can grieve with my family and see my baby for the last time, even if it’s just her shell.’

And so, with my friend’s non-stop work, and with the efforts and kind hearts of both the Chinese and American consulate, and the constant help and support of Madison Adoption Associates, Charlotte and I made history and finalized her adoption the next morning, and came home. My poor girl was so confused and scared watching this new mommy of hers cry so much. And it got even more frightening when we arrived to a group of 8 more people crying and grieving. But she was grieving too, so we quickly bonded, as we all understood what loss felt like. The beauty of our grief was that we had each other to grieve with and at that moment, it was the only thing that mattered.

February is such an important month in our home! February is Congenital Heart Defect Awareness month and February is the month that we adopted Ivy and she became our beloved daughter! We met on February 13th (her gothcha) and on Valentine’s Day, February 14th, we signed all the China documents that made it official. How perfect that her family day was on Valentine’s Day!!!

I will end this with a testimony of the gift our daughter was to us. If I had a chance to do life over, with this same scenario and this same outcome, I would have my hands in the air with the biggest YES just to be her mommy for however long God gave me! YES it was worth it, YES it was hard, YES it is hard, and YES life is so much better because she was in it. Easy is just that, easy. Easy would have meant that there was no Ivy Joy. No being Ivy’s family. We know that true joy is chosen. It is searched for and chosen. We give thanks for so much more than just things that can be seen. We have experienced the richness of life, we have seen miracles, and we have watched doctors scratch their heads as Ivy recovered from things that she was not expected.

We have seen heartache that we wish NO ONE would ever have to experience. Every moment, every high and every low, was so worth it!

Reading the file of a child with heart defects is scary stuff, it’s not for the faint at heart, it comes with no promises. But behind that file, is just a little child who needs a family! We had no idea how much we needed Ivy, but it was certainly more than she needed us. Our YES was hard; but with our YES came unspeakable joy!

Don’t let HARD scare you. Hard teaches, hard grows us, hard matures us, and hard causes us to reach out for the only hand that will always be there for us, today, tomorrow, yesterday, and infinitely.

With Love and Joy,

Mary

MAA is humbled to offer the ‘For Ivy’ $1,000 grant to families adopting any child with complex CHD.  And while we are featuring Ivy’s story in February in honor of Heart Awareness month, we are happy to offer this grant year-round, as we stand by all children with CHD like Ivy, and strive to get them all home as soon as possible.  To meet some of the children we are advocating for with complex CHD, please visit our website.

If you are not in a position to adopt, but would still like to help bring these children home, please consider donating to the For Ivy grant so that we can offer this grant for years to come!